Frank Yan of Sacramento on Self - Forgiving

Couple years ago in Sacramento, Frank Yan thought that the only way to feel good about himself was forgiving other people. Frank tried really hard doing this but deep inside of him something was still wrong. It was like emptiness and he was not really feeling good about himself. Because Frank was working a lot on himself and he had committed to himself to honor his self-worth. Suddenly realizing that the first step in forgiveness was: forgiving Frank himself.

How can you possible forgive other people if you are not forgiving yourself?



Self-forgiveness is to allow of all the anger regarding your past failures go, the errors and mistakes we all make. Self-forgiveness is to let go of your need to feel sorrow, regret and anger about your past.Self-forgiveness is self-love, is to accept yourself, to have compassion and the understanding that you were doing the best you could at that moment.


Self-forgiveness will set you free, because you will not hold yourself in debt with it and you will be able to understand your past and you will move on.If you do not forgive yourself you will feel indifference toward your own needs, you will have destructive behaviors, self-pity and resistance to heal your wounds keeping you in low self-esteem.


What are the steps to forgiving YOU?


·Accept for your own failures, errors and mistakes
·Believing in yourself and accepting your goodness
·Letting go of the hurt and pain
·Write down what emotions do you feel about this
·Write down what do you need to forgive yourself for
·Learning from your mistakes, failures and errors
·Take the decision to forgive yourself


Forgiving yourself will bring you inner peace and the ability to forgive others. Frank Yan believes that self-forgiveness is inseparable from self-love, self-esteem and self-respect.


When Frank stops to analyze about what may be holding him back, Frank likes to find solitude time by himself by walking or riding his bike on along the Sacramento River Run in West Sacramento. This gives him time to gather his thoughts and re configure what he needs to self-forgive.

Frank Yan of Sacramento on Motivate Yourself

Getting motivated is not nearly as hard as it may sound. Whether if Frank Yan is at his Alldata office or in his comfort of his Sacramento home, Frank will take the first step just to think about what he has to do and discovers a way to accomplish them.

People need to think about what they will get out of doing the task, or what will happen if they don’t do it. Frank has seen many of these behaviors from his coworkers at Alldata and his Sacramento friends get distracted from what is the task in hand. We must focus on our tasks think about them and what will be accomplished if we complete them. Either one works; both together are even better.


For example, if you study hard for a test, you will get an A or at least try for that A, and that will feel good and the feeling of being excited about it. And, if you don’t study for the test, you will get a C, or perhaps worse. Your feeling and excitement levels reduce and you don’t want that at all because it will bring your overall grade down, it will look bad on your transcript, and so on.


By going over in detail what you’re going to get if you complete the task, and reviewing the consequences of not doing it, you can motivate yourself by deciding that you want the benefits and don’t want the consequences.


If you “just can’t get motivated at all,” the chances are the stakes will not high enough for you. You can always try to think harder about what you’ll get out of doing this, and motivate yourself with time and thought. Or you can always wait until a time when you are feeling more motivated, if that is an option to you.


The truth is all motivation is self-motivation. Whether you’re doing your work because you are conscientious and want to get your work done on time, or because you don’t want your boss to get mad, you are the one who is motivating you, in the end.


In the end, the Sacramento entrepreneur and salesman, Frank Yan is his self-motivator. This basically just means that Frank figures out what the task will bring him, or cost him if he doesn’t do it, and then deciding whether he wants that benefit, or doesn’t want those consequences, more than he wants what he’s doing instead.

Frank Yan of Sacramento on Self Esteem

Frank Yan of Sacramento posts a related article: Motivate Yourself

Healthy Self-Esteem – Do you feel superior or inferior to other people?

Frank used to suffer from “authority fear”; this is how he can call it. Every time Frank was in front of a person with more authority than him, or even and older person I felt inferior. Frank has also felt superior to other people that lacked things that he had.


Through the years in Sacramento, Frank Yan has learned that in order to have a healthy self-esteem we really have to be aware that we (as human beings) have our own value no matter who do we have in front of us. But also understand that other people have the same value that we have. We’re all human.


When you have a healthy self-esteem you don’t really feel inferior to other people. It doesn’t matter if they have authority, if they have more money, if they are older than you, or if they have more degrees than you On the other hand, you do not feel superior to other people because of their lack of authority, lack of money, lack of degree or other reasons.


You have value and aware that you are also as important. Feeling superior to somebody is pure sheer arrogance and feeling inferior to other is self-pity. Both are signs of low self esteem.If you are constantly comparing to other people you are not comfortable with yourself. Self esteem means that you feel good about yourself. Why do you feel good about yourself? Because you like yourself, you accept who you are and you are comfortable with whom you are. And most important: you have to respect yourself.


Self -Esteem and Denial


What is denial Frank asks? Denial in Frank’s eyes is pretending that everything is to live in fantasy island, is to tell all the time that nothing is bothering us. In other words, to be in denial is to deny our problems and challenges, is to deny our own realities.


Frank lived for many years in denial. He used to tell everybody that he was doing fine even when he wasn’t. The problem was always about “The Other” not Frank Yan. Frank believes that he has learned to live with self-denial from his family. He has watched it and it had become a habit for him.


Denial can be dangerous not only because we are not living our own reality, but also because we may be repressing a lot of feelings that we are afraid to feel.


In order to have a healthy self esteem, we have to be real with ourselves. We have to identify and know that we have low self esteem.


Awareness is the key in this process. With self-awareness Frank has learned to identify his low self-esteem behaviors and by identifying them he has been able to change and understand more about himself.


Frank has found himself, many times putting other people down in Sacramento. Until he become aware that he was doing that because he was feeling bad about himself in order to feel good about himself.


The above is a sign of low self-esteem. But only when Frank was aware of this behavior he was able to change it and understand why I was behaving that way.


If you want to have a healthy self-esteem, Frank Yan would suggest being more aware of your behaviors so that you will be able to understand more easily why you are having low self-esteem. The first step in the process of change is self-awareness. The second step in this process is acceptance.


Let’s not be afraid of our own feelings and behaviors because they are the key to know us better and the key for a better self-esteem.