Frank Yan of Sacramento on Self Esteem

Frank Yan of Sacramento posts a related article: Motivate Yourself

Healthy Self-Esteem – Do you feel superior or inferior to other people?

Frank used to suffer from “authority fear”; this is how he can call it. Every time Frank was in front of a person with more authority than him, or even and older person I felt inferior. Frank has also felt superior to other people that lacked things that he had.


Through the years in Sacramento, Frank Yan has learned that in order to have a healthy self-esteem we really have to be aware that we (as human beings) have our own value no matter who do we have in front of us. But also understand that other people have the same value that we have. We’re all human.


When you have a healthy self-esteem you don’t really feel inferior to other people. It doesn’t matter if they have authority, if they have more money, if they are older than you, or if they have more degrees than you On the other hand, you do not feel superior to other people because of their lack of authority, lack of money, lack of degree or other reasons.


You have value and aware that you are also as important. Feeling superior to somebody is pure sheer arrogance and feeling inferior to other is self-pity. Both are signs of low self esteem.If you are constantly comparing to other people you are not comfortable with yourself. Self esteem means that you feel good about yourself. Why do you feel good about yourself? Because you like yourself, you accept who you are and you are comfortable with whom you are. And most important: you have to respect yourself.


Self -Esteem and Denial


What is denial Frank asks? Denial in Frank’s eyes is pretending that everything is to live in fantasy island, is to tell all the time that nothing is bothering us. In other words, to be in denial is to deny our problems and challenges, is to deny our own realities.


Frank lived for many years in denial. He used to tell everybody that he was doing fine even when he wasn’t. The problem was always about “The Other” not Frank Yan. Frank believes that he has learned to live with self-denial from his family. He has watched it and it had become a habit for him.


Denial can be dangerous not only because we are not living our own reality, but also because we may be repressing a lot of feelings that we are afraid to feel.


In order to have a healthy self esteem, we have to be real with ourselves. We have to identify and know that we have low self esteem.


Awareness is the key in this process. With self-awareness Frank has learned to identify his low self-esteem behaviors and by identifying them he has been able to change and understand more about himself.


Frank has found himself, many times putting other people down in Sacramento. Until he become aware that he was doing that because he was feeling bad about himself in order to feel good about himself.


The above is a sign of low self-esteem. But only when Frank was aware of this behavior he was able to change it and understand why I was behaving that way.


If you want to have a healthy self-esteem, Frank Yan would suggest being more aware of your behaviors so that you will be able to understand more easily why you are having low self-esteem. The first step in the process of change is self-awareness. The second step in this process is acceptance.


Let’s not be afraid of our own feelings and behaviors because they are the key to know us better and the key for a better self-esteem.